


honey, i laugh when it sinks in

by drottkvaett



Series: Hozier lyrics insp [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Irreverence on the part of the author toward celebrated composers, M/M, They have sex but also they’re in love and it’s sappy, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-01-15 08:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18494770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drottkvaett/pseuds/drottkvaett
Summary: Percy and Vax go to a symphony and one of the pieces is terrible. They’re so in love, so really, how much does it matter?





	honey, i laugh when it sinks in

**Author's Note:**

> This is written after a bad concert that I went to and was bitter about. 
> 
> Vax is trans here, I use masculine and feminine coded language to describe his body.
> 
> Recommended listening: Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier (title is also from its lyrics) Also Lobgesang by Felix Mendelssohn.

The final, immense note of the symphony rings out through a packed hall, and the audience erupts into applause.

Percy looks to Vax. “What did you think?”

“It … wasn’t good,” Vax says as he, nevertheless, politely applauds. 

“Don’t say that!” Percy responds indignantly. 

“I know good music when I hear it, and that wasn’t it.”

“It’s Mendelssohn! It’s culture!”

“Did _you_ like it?”

“No.” Percy clambers down from his high horse and admits: “It felt kinda drawn out and generic. They did their best with bad writing, though. No fault there. It was just that the ‘all praise his might and glory’ thing got old pretty fast.”

“Told you we should have just made out in the bathroom instead.”

He had, in fact, suggested that very thing during intermission, when Percy had read aloud the lyrics provided in the program for the upcoming piece: “‘ _But the watchman said: morning comes, and also the night, if you will inquire, so you will inquire… come back and inquire again: Watchman, what of the night? The night is past!_ ’ My god, this reads like it’s inside out.” 

The applause is dying down, and Vax grabs Percy’s hand. “Come on. Let’s leave.”

\- -

Percy drives home, and Vax mindlessly hums as he looks out the window. They regularly went to the symphony, as Scanlan had regifted season tickets to them. Evidently, a wealthy someone in Scanlan’s vast musical circles didn’t know him very well, as the idea of Scanlan sitting through the performance they’d just endured, or any prolonged musical performance involving sitting still, really, is enough to make Vax giggle.

“Whatcha laughing about?” Percy turns down the radio. 

Vax describes his vision of Scanlan squirming as the soprano trilled high note after high note. “If I had trouble focusing during all the arias, just _think_ about all the dire emergencies he’d fake to escape.”

Percy doesn’t look away from the road, but Vax sees the smile creep into his face.

\- -

Percy lets Vax out before he parks to let him avoid the puddle near the curb, and Vax waits for him. When Percy gets out, he offers his arm in a half-serious, half-joking way. Vax takes it with a smile, and they head inside.

\- -

They share the last of a tub of ice cream, eating out of the container. Vax leans against the arm of the couch with his legs stretched out over Percy’s lap. They discuss the concert, coming to the consensus that the piece played in the first half was brilliant, and that the second one was uninspired, but that the orchestra and choir had made the best of a bad piece. 

Vax takes on a snobby tone: “ _I_ am a _personal _holder of the opinion that the conductor and orchestra both had their individual merits but that overall, the character of-” He starts laughing and can’t hold it together to finish his affectation. “We sound like pretentious assholes. Discussing ‘The Symphony’, with a capital S.”__

__Percy takes on the same tone Vax had. “No, I really _must_ know what it is you think about the symphonic performance tonight for it’s of the utmothp importamph.” He spoons some ice cream into his mouth on the last few words, muffling them. Vax laughs even harder, and Percy feels warm inside. _ _

__\- -_ _

__Vax finishes brushing his teeth and unbuttons his dress shirt and wrestling out of his binder to wash his face without getting them wet. He turns on the tap, and splashes some up in the general direction of his face, gasping when the frigid water hits his skin. He gingerly continues to wash his face, more mindful of the cold water, but not waiting for it to heat up._ _

__After making a vague attempt to dry himself off, he turns off the lights and tiptoes to bed. Percy went to bed a few minutes before he entered the bathroom, and Vax doesn’t want to wake him. He opens the door noiselessly, shirt and socks in hand. Percy has the bedside light on and is absorbed in a book and making the cute scowl he’s prone to when concentrating._ _

__“That interesting, huh?” Vax asks from the doorway._ _

__Percy starts and looks up, blushing in the way that he’s also prone to, and stares._ _

__\- -_ _

__Vax stands in the doorframe, shirtless, holding his dress clothes balled up, with grubby pajama pants riding low on his hips. He’s. He has a bit of what looks like it might be toothpaste in a chunk of hair that’s escaped from where it’s sloppily pulled back. In a word, he’s gorgeous._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Nothing.” He goes back to his book for a second, but looks up again. “I’m just lucky I’ve got you.”_ _

__“Getting soft?” Vax smiles at him with something vulpine in his eyes._ _

__“Far from it.”_ _

__He climbs in bed next to Percy, and, instead of curling up next to him in his usual way, gently grabs Percy’s book and sets it on the nightstand, and awkwardly settles down onto his lap._ _

__Percy has kissed Vax a million times, lies next to him in bed every night, had all kinds of sex with him, but every time Vax gets up in his space this way, he completely loses his higher reasoning. Vax knows it, too._ _

__He grins and pulls Percy in by the waist and nape of the neck for a kiss. It’s soft and sweet. Percy’s eyes close and he hums in contentment. Vax shifts his weight from his own knees to sit fully on Percy and something in Percy _burns_. He pulls back to look at him. Vax is smiling at him and cards his fingers through Percy’s hair. Percy wants to say something but can’t find the words, and settles for reaching to touch Vax’s cheek. Vax seems to understand, but even if he doesn’t, his lips find Percy’s neck, which is really good enough for him._ _

__\- -_ _

__They make out in bed for what could be eternity for all Vax cares. Percy’s lips are so warm and he holds Vax so gently he feels like he might just break. They break to breathe and just look at one another. Percy has this goofy smile on his face that Vax is sure is mirrored on his own._ _

__Percy’s arms slide from his shoulders to his waist and the sensation on his bare back makes him shiver. Percy pulls his hips in closer, and the movement makes Vax realize that Percy has gotten him soaking wet. He hadn’t noticed, but it comes as no surprise._ _

__Vax gently tugs upwards on the hem of Percy’s t-shirt, and Percy gets the message. He pulls it over his head, and Vax runs reverent hands over his shoulders and chest._ _

__\- -_ _

__Vax looks up at Percy. Even sitting on his lap, Vax is still a few inches shorter than him. He cups Vax’s jaw in his hands and leans down to kiss him. The kiss turns dirty fast, and Vax nips Percy’s lower lip. At that, Percy’s hips twitch up into Vax’s and Vax can feel his dick hard against his inner thigh. He pauses, just to be an asshole._ _

__“Percy, I didn’t know you felt that way about me,” he jokes._ _

__Percy rolls his eyes at him. “Here I was thinking we were in love and all that, and it turns out you’ve been oblivious the whole time.”_ _

__“Maybe,” Vax says back, to continue the bit. “I really don’t know. Yes, you’re terribly handsome, yes you’re funny, and you look nice naked, and really know how to eat a man out, but I just don’t really know how I feel about you. It’s all really confusing to m-”_ _

__Percy, tired of Vax’s drawn out joke, slips his hand into Vax’s underwear and finds his dick with his thumb. Percy’s had enough sex with Vax to know that he tends to melt when someone even so much as touches his clit, and this time is no different. He leans his face into Percy’s shoulder and exhales shakily._ _

__\- -_ _

__Percy’s almost drunk on the way Vax falls apart under gentle circles of his thumb. He makes soft overwhelmed noises into the crook of Percy’s neck, and Percy is so in love. He also kind of wants to fuck Vax into next week, but that’s not the point._ _

__Vax swallows and manages to find his tongue from where he’d misplaced it and starts prattling again, albeit a bit less consistently as Percy shifts angles and he gasps and stutters. “You know, your fingers are really,— ah, really nice and you know how to use them, but I don’t know if I’m really— Jesus, Percy, I don’t know if I’m really in—“_ _

__He pulls his hand out of Vax’s pants, eliciting an indignant squawk, licks the slick off his fingers, and nudges Vax to get out of his lap._ _

__“Hey!”_ _

__“Be patient,” Percy says while he tries to shimmy out of his pants while seated. He gives up, standing up above Vax to undo the drawstring. He’s barely stepped out of them before Vax pushes his left leg out from under him, causing him to topple onto the mattress. Vax reorients and climbs on top of him again, straddling his chest and looking proud of himself before moving downward._ _

__His lips find Percy’s dick in a moment and he sucks gently at first, as if testing the waters, then takes Percy all the way up to the hilt._ _

__Percy, for his part, can’t think, lost in aching sensation. Vax looks up at him through his eyelashes, brushing a strand of stray hair aside and Percy thinks he might die of arousal._ _

__Percy manages some kind of warning that he’s going to come if Vax doesn’t stop that _fucking_ thing that he’s doing with his tongue, and Vax pulls off Percy’s dick. He wipes his mouth before reaching up to kiss him. Percy, still dazed, reaches up into Vax’s hair, not pulling him closer, just holding on._ _

__He catches his breath in Vax’s lungs and just holds him._ _

__\- -_ _

__“Perce?” Vax asks after a while._ _

__“Hmm?”_ _

__“You good?”_ _

__“Mhmm,” Percy hums back into his lips. “Just getting myself under control. Thought I might fuck you tonight, instead of coming now.”_ _

__He says it all innocent, as if he doesn’t know the havoc he’s just wreaked between Vax’s legs and that that sentence and that his vaguely raw tone of voice is due to be the subject of Vax’s dreams and fantasies for possibly forever._ _

__Percy has the audacity to ask if _he’s_ alright when Vax doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything. _ _

__He really tries to say something witty, something sharp and clever, even has it planned out in his head:_ _

__No, instead, what comes out of Vax’s addled lips is “I love you.”_ _

__It’s nothing new. He’d first said it months ago, but the truth of the phrase sneaks up on him every day. When Percy is lit up by the afternoon sun as they put away groceries. When he finds Percy to be his first waking thought and his last thought before he falls asleep. When he unthinkingly makes enough curry for two, even when it’s just him for the weekend. When Percy pushes his glasses up his nose. When Vax thinks of “us” before he thinks of “me”. When he realizes he’s no longer afraid of forever._ _

__“Me too.” Vax giggles almost nervously and Percy hastily amends himself. “I love you, too. Not, I love me, like you just said you loved me and I said I loved me too and-”_ _

__“Yeah, I knew what you meant the first time.” _Love is so stupid_ , Vax thinks as his heart swells with fondness at Percy’s awkward fumbling with words. “Do you want to fuck me now?”_ _

__\- -_ _

__Of fucking course Percy wants to fuck him. Vax is stunning and half naked and in bed with him and just finished flusteredly telling Percy he loved him._ _

__“Sure,” he says, almost offhand, but he kind of knows that there’s no more offhand for the two of them, and everything he says to Vax comes from some genuine part of his soul._ _

__Vax climbs off him and starts pulling his pajama pants and underwear down off of his hips. Percy, naturally, stares just as much as he had the first time they’d had sex. Vax deftly tosses his pants into the laundry bin in the corner and turns back to Percy, who blushes, caught staring. He settles back into the pillows and spreads his thighs wide and grins. Percy blushes harder and hesitates. Vax rolls his eyes and tugs him closer. Percy takes initiative and dives between his legs. He is wet and hard enough that Percy doesn’t need to do much, just takes his clit into his mouth and sucks. Vax’s thighs drop to the mattress and he lets out a breath that might be a moan._ _

__Percy gently riles Vax up for a few minutes. He takes a while to rediscover his tongue after Percy puts his mouth on him, but when he does, he’s very vocal and streams shaky strings of nonsense about Percy._ _

__\- -_ _

__Percy really looks a sight eating him out like this. His white hair contrasts sharply against Vax’s brass-colored fingers entwined in it, holding him against his cunt. He’s stretched out across the bed, gently grinding his hips into the sheets, and sighing as Vax’s own hips roll into his tongue. He slides two fingers easily into Vax and Vax just moans as he adds another and starts curling and flexing them. Percy knows Vax’s body well, and just how to undo him. It’s only been a few minutes before Vax comes with a full body shudder._ _

__His fingers loosen in Percy’s hair, before tightening again and tugging Percy up. Percy obliges and kisses him. Vax can taste the thick, sharp taste of himself on Percy’s lips and tongue._ _

“Fuck me.”

__\- -_ _

__In everyday life, Vax is a study in contrast. He moves with preternatural quiet and you look away for a second and he’s gone, only to turn and hear him talking your ear off from the location you swear he appeared in. The illusion of perfect grace and finesse is only ever somewhat spoiled by the stupidly lovable things he says. He’s earnest in a way that feels like he standing just a few inches too close to your soul and is baring his own._ _

__Now though, in a very Vax sort of way, it’s simultaneously just the same and a whole different kettle of fish. He’s unabashedly honest about his feelings, which in this circumstance, translates to him being loud as all hell. Same. He’s lost the delicate grace in his limbs and replaced it with languidly and clumsy desire. Different._ _

__Percy has Vax on his back, knees open, full of his cock, and Vax is trying to get out a sentence, just as always, but interrupts himself with contented mumbles and low moans whenever Percy does anything or moves at all. It’s kind of a rush, a fact which is added to by just how much of a mess Vax is. His chest has a sheen of sweat on it in the dark bedroom lit only by Percy’s reading lamp, and from what Percy can see in the dim light, the line of his neck is punctuated by a few hickies. His hair, carelessly pulled back at the beginning of this, has almost completely fallen out of the elastic, and is strewn across the pillow. Vax’s hips are tilted up into his as Percy gently fucks into him. Even whatever he’s trying and failing to say is charming. Percy is head over heels._ _

__He leans down to kiss him. It’s sweet and soft. Both of their mouths taste, well, like they’ve been going down on one another. Percy grimaces a little at the taste and Vax pushes Percy back up again and starts to scrabble for a handhold in the sheets to sit up._ _

__“Does my mouth really taste _that_ bad?”_ _

__Vax giggles and pulls him down for another kiss. Percy obliges and simultaneously thrusts into Vax and rubs hard with the thumb on Vax’s dick, which has the effect of both getting an incredibly gratifying sound out of him, and kind of spoiling the kiss as Vax throws his head back into the sheets. The way is bares his neck is poetry to Percy, though and he kisses the line of it as he lazily fucks Vax. Vax is lovely in all states, but Percy is a personal fan of this one, where his normally taut muscles all relax in fucked-out bliss. The thing is, it’s easy to do this to him. Really, even fingering him for a minute or two outside a party is all it takes. Not that Percy has ever done that._ _

__Tearing himself back from the past, Percy hisses at just how good Vax feels. His cunt is slick and hot and he is clutching at Percy. His fingers bite into Percy’s back and shoulders and the quick kiss of pain mixed with the slow ache of pleasure is perfect._ _

__\- -_ _

__Vax, for all he’s worth, loves this kind of sex. It’s lazy, slow, and forceful. Percy’s thrusts are slow, but his hips carry immense momentum, and Vax loses his breath every time they punch into him. Most of all though, it’s intimate. Percy leans over him and they breathe the same air. It’s intense in a way just being hammered into oblivion could never be. Vax enjoys that too, though, on occasion._ _

__As Percy’s fingers rub at his clit, and his dick fills him up, Vax’s stomach and thigh muscles start to tense and he manages an intelligent thought to Percy about how he’s going to come. He stares up at the glint of light reflecting off Percy’s hair and his intense look of concentration and the pale freckles visible on his nose at close range. Percy is beautiful, Vax remembers. He finds multitudes in the little wispy hairs at his hairline, the gentle bags around his eyes from a late night out, the tangle of his eyebrows._ _

__As Percy kisses him, he feels the sweaty, chapped touch of his lips, the gentle brush of stubble, the wet slide of his dick. He feels the burn of pleasure where his thumb massages Vax’s own dick, the friction of sheets on his shoulders as Percy pushes into him, the strain in his lower back as he lifts his hips to meet Percy’s. In that moment, he’s live with sensation. Percy slows even further as he comes. He breathes in and out, rapturous and unable to think._ _

__Percy continues at the same pace he slowed to as Vax comes back to his senses, sending aftershocks through Vax’s body. Before the sensation gets overwhelming, Percy slows, and gets out “Can I-” before Vax is nodding and pulling Percy closer still. Percy comes in him, sending another ripple of pleasurable aftershock through Vax._ _

__Percy rolls off of him, and they just lie and hold one another in silence like that for a few minutes, until it starts to get sticky. Vax groans and gets up to grab a washcloth from the bathroom._ _

__When he gets back, Percy is staring at him again._ _

__“You look stupid,” he informs him. “If you keep smiling like that, I might die.”_ _

__Percy of course, keeps looking at him like he’s besotted. “Then die.”_ _

__He wipes himself off and offers the cloth to Percy, who cleans himself up and makes an effort of dabbing at the sheets._ _

__He climbs in bed, still naked, and curls up next to Percy and pulls a blanket over the two of them. He lies there for a few minutes before turning an owlish eye to Percy._ _

__“Are you going to turn the light off, or what?”_ _

__Percy is reading. “What?”_ _

__“I said, are you going to turn off the light? I’m sleepy.”_ _

__“Do you mind if I read a bit more?”_ _

__“‘Kay.”_ _

__He turns back and lies still for a few minutes. The only sound is Percy turning the pages periodically._ _

__“What are you reading?”_ _

__Percy lifts the book and shows him the cover. It reads: “Nott the Best Detective Agency and the Strange Case of the Xhorhasian Armoire”._ _

__“Mystery?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“Will you read to me?”_ _

__“You won’t understand the plot. I’m already halfway through.” He obliges anyway, and starts reading. “As the two detectives sauntered down the street in step, a commotion broke out inside of this store they’d just inspected. The owner was chasing after a man, shouting ‘You moved all of my stuff!’ and stuff and the guy was running away, like, really fast.”_ _

__Percy was right. Vax doesn’t understand the plot at all, and gets lost as soon as the author(s? There seems to be two distinct voices) starts waxing poetic in purple prose about a minotaur. He stops listening to the words and starts listening to Percy’s voice. It’s low and rough after a long day, and soothing. He snuggles into Percy’s side. All too soon, Percy stops reading and switches off the light. Vax turns his head to look at him in the faint moonlight. He smiles a bit, unconsciously. Percy smiles back, and Vax nestles into the curve of his body._ _

__Half asleep, Vax says “At least we managed to not get anything much on the sheets.”_ _

__“Speak for yourself,” Percy mumbles sleepily._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the book is a Nott the Best Detective Agency book by Nott and Jester. 
> 
> I’m considering a series based on lyrics from each song on Wasteland, Baby! so if you enjoyed this, let me know, leave kudos/comments etc etc etc


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